At yesterday's press conference by the overground littering pressure group, Litter UK, their Chief Strategist, Dr Meg Dods (D.Litt), encouraged its millions of members across the country not to be discouraged by the government's latest campaign against plastic waste. The group, which has successfully kept the UK's streets, parks, open spaces, road verges and hedgerows full of rubbish since the 1950s, reminded its followers that, in the unlikely event that the proposed bottle deposit scheme is a success, there would still be plenty of paper, cards, glass bottles, cans, needles, fast-food cartons, textiles and cigarettes to keep Britain untidy for ever.
Asked how the group had been so successful despite other organisations' efforts to clean up after it, Dr Dods said that their strategy had been high-level entryism into key committees and boards in order to ensure that UK rubbish policy was, lit[t]erally, rubbish. Asked what was their main message to the British people, she said:
"Keep on doing what you're so good at: Littering!"