A while back, I re-published an extract from the Rank Grass and Bracken Times which had first been written at the time that foot and mouth disease threatened to wipe sheep farming from England's Lake District hills.
Here's another lively extract; this time about re-wilding.
( Gaiayear 632.41.b3 ) ...
Disappointing news from North-west Sector 9
Despite the diligent efforts of a range of useful human idiots in the National Trust, the RSPB, the Guardian newspaper (and in other ecologically-progressive organs) to rid our high fell country of the hated sheep and their masters, there has been a setback to our plans to restore the land's harmonies. Once again, these lie distorted, this time by pious international do-goodery.
As is well known, our occupied high lands, are laid waste to turf by alien Herdwick and Rough Fell sheep. They select our youngest and most tender shoots on which to feast. We had hoped that the human re-wilding movement would help us convert the high fells back to pre-human times when we, the rank grasses and bracken, were at one with Gaia.
But the rebarbative UNESCO, for all its talk of solidarity, it is no friend to bracken and rank grass. It has given the high fells a sheep-friendly award – world heritage (conservation) status – which will undermine re-wilding efforts. The themes that underpin the Lake District as a cultural landscape include what they term its "dramatic farmed landscape".
Such colonial impudence! They act as if this were their land instead of ours: the glorious bracken and fine rank grasses.