{"id":271,"date":"2025-12-09T09:30:16","date_gmt":"2025-12-09T09:30:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.bath.ac.uk\/never-ok\/?p=271"},"modified":"2025-12-09T09:30:16","modified_gmt":"2025-12-09T09:30:16","slug":"love-bombing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.bath.ac.uk\/never-ok\/2025\/12\/09\/love-bombing\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Bombing"},"content":{"rendered":"

This blog post is part of a series of posts written by specialist support staff from the University of Bath\u2019s Sexual Violence and Domestic Abuse Response Service (SVDARS)<\/a>, as part of the UN's yearly 16 Days of Activism Campaign<\/a> working to end gender-based violence.<\/em><\/p>\n

The early stages of a new relationship can often feel exciting; at first glance frequent affection may make us feel special and wanted by the other person, especially if you are new to dating. However, you may start to feel confused between enjoying the initial stages of a relationship and being concerned about possible \u2018red flags\u2019 like love bombing. So how do we know what is love and what is love bombing?<\/p>\n

What is love bombing?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Solace Women\u2019s Aid<\/a> describes love bombing as \u201cwhen an abusive partner is bombarding \u2018love\u2019, which is part of emotional abuse and coercive control. It could include excessive affection, excessive compliments,\u00a0declarations of love, gifts and\u00a0praise. It may also be\u00a0wanting to move quickly into a commitment because they \u2018can\u2019t live without you\u2019 and promises of a perfect life together.\u201d<\/p>\n

A love bomber seeks to make you feel special and secure, however once trust is established manipulative behaviours can emerge to exert control over you and the relationship. This may involve affection being withheld from you, avoiding accountability for unhealthy behaviour or abandoning the relationship entirely.<\/p>\n

Love bombing at the university may start like this:<\/p>\n

Gifts \u2013<\/strong> A gift, like flowers or something meaningful, now and again, can make us feel thought of. \u00a0Showering someone with unexpected gifts at every date, and in front of your friends and housemates, can feel overwhelming. The meaning behind the gesture may feel lost and uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

Compliments - <\/strong>Your partner may be continuously messaging you or spamming your socials with comments or declarations of love to gain public acceptance of the relationship, a little flattery can go a long way, but too much can feel suffocating.<\/p>\n

and then lead to this:<\/p>\n

Pressure to commit \u2013 \u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Does your relationship feel like it\u2019s moving at lightning speed? A person who love bombs wants to make it official and fast, convincing you they are the perfect partner. Being showered with gifts and affirmations may make it feel hard to say no to the commitment.<\/p>\n

Jealousy \u2013<\/strong> Your partner may want to often come along to nights out with friends or society events, often checking in on your location, who you are with, and could become upset or \u2018get the hump\u2019 if you have plans without them. They might use being concerned for your safety as a reason for this and could present unreasonable ultimatums to choose between them and your friends.<\/p>\n

More information on how love bombing may manifest itself within a relationship can be found from the webpages by\u00a0Relate, <\/a>The Marylebone Project <\/a>and What Is Love Bombing? 7 Signs To Look For by Cleveland Clinic.<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why can it be hard to spot?<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the beginning, love bombing can be hard to recognise as emotional abuse, as it mimics genuine affection and the natural \u2018honeymoon phase\u2019 of a relationship. Being showered with \u2018love\u2019 can make you feel good and might even temporarily boost your self-esteem. You may have friends telling you how \u2018lucky\u2019 you are, making it tricky to voice your concerns.<\/p>\n

It may be helpful to ask yourself, are you happy with the pace of the relationship? Do you mind having frequent contact? \u00a0Is something starting to feel \u2018off\u2019?<\/p>\n

You may feel your lifestyle start to change \u2013 such as seeing friends less, feeling worried to say \u2018no\u2019 to your partner, or the commitment may feel too much too soon.<\/p>\n

Remember, if something doesn\u2019t feel right in your relationship, it probably isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why is this harmful?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Love bombing can harm someone\u2019s emotional well-being by diminishing their self-esteem and making them feel insecure through being conditioned to expect the highs and lows of the relationship. You may believe you\u2019ve been tricked into the relationship, and it can feel incredibly painful to have someone who showered you with affection suddenly change their behaviour.<\/p>\n

This can lead to confusion and knowing how good the \u2018honeymoon phase felt\u2019 a person may often stay in the relationship in the hope it comes back, perpetuating the cycle of low self-esteem and dependency.<\/p>\n

The Crown Prosecution Service<\/a> in 2023 acknowledged the harmful impact of love bombing, and how it can be used to coerce and control a partner. The guidance on controlling and coercive behaviour and stalking or harassment has been updated and advises prosecutors about the different tactics a suspect can use, including \u2018love-bombing\u2019 to confuse the victim and gain more control.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where to go for support and advice <\/strong><\/p>\n

If you are concerned about your relationship the Student Support team at the University of Bath are here to help. You can confidentially speak to our Student Support Advisers at the Roper Centre, 4 West or by filling in this form<\/a>. They may refer you to the Sexual Violence and Domestic Abuse Response Service (SVDARS<\/a>), who provide specialist support and advice on reporting if you have experienced sexual harassment or violence through love bombing or an alternative Student Support team, depending on your needs.<\/p>\n

You can also report an incident through the University\u2019s Support and Report<\/a> tool.<\/p>\n

If you are a staff member, you can get further support by contacting your HR Advisor.\u00a0Health Assured<\/a>\u00a0also provides staff members with free, confidential counselling and wellbeing advice.<\/p>\n

Other specialist services are available in the UK:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Women's Aid<\/a><\/p>\n

Voices- Domestic Abuse Charity Bath<\/a><\/p>\n

LoveRespect <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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