For Maternal Mental Health Month we spoke to Tamsin Willis-Stovold, HR Deputy Director (Leadership), who undertook some coaching around her maternity leave.
Why did you decide to take up coaching at this point in time?
When I returned from maternity leave after my first child it was a big adjustment, juggling work, childcare and trying to get to grips with my role again after a break. I have a very busy role, and I put myself under a lot of pressure to do it well – so I knew during my second maternity leave, that I’d have a better chance of managing the adjustment well if I had some support during my return to work.
How did you find the coaching experience?
I met with my coach online, once a month. We had four sessions and I usually found myself referring to my notes or actions in between meetings.
It was a really positive. My coach helped me to step back from what was happening and really plot out what was important, and what was helping me be successful, and conversely what was getting in the way. Having that dedicated time to focus on me and my development really supported me to adjust into my role. I think, like lots of people returning after a break, I was setting myself very high standards and being tough on myself if I felt like I wasn’t meeting them. Coaching helped me to get some distance and understand how to be a bit kinder to myself.
I am a coach myself, and I coach staff as part of the internal coaching network – but even when you know the ‘theory’ of something, sometimes it’s helpful to have someone objective help you navigate what you’re thinking and feeling.
Did it make a difference to you returning to work after your mat leave?
Yes, it really helped with my confidence. When I was on maternity leave I did start to doubt whether I’d be able to come back and pick up again – I worried I wouldn’t be able to catch up with what had happened in my absence, or whether I’d still be able to operate at the same level. My coaching helped me understand what I’m good at, and why, which really helped me. It provided me with some handrails when I felt like I was learning to be ‘work me’ again. It also helped being able to talk about the ‘whole’ of me – recognising that being a mum to two small children is a core part of my identity, and sometimes it brings challenges as you don’t want to let anyone down. I feel very grateful to work with people who understand this and offer wonderful words of encouragement – but I knew it was a balance I needed to spend time thinking about so I could handle the juggle better (for my own wellbeing).
What advice would you offer other people taking maternity leave?
Try to spend some time thinking about how you want your maternity leave to be. It’s a really special time and a chance to create some memories you’ll treasure, but it’s also very easy to just get caught up in the day-to-day juggle.
Do what works for you. I stayed in touch with lots of my colleagues, and my managers – popping in for coffee quite frequently. I think some people might find that unusual, but it worked for me because feeling connected made me feel more like myself. I found it helpful to tell my managers what worked for me, and I’m really pleased they made such an effort to support me with that (and they were always pleased to see my son when he came along with me!). They were also very supportive when I was adjusting to being back, which helped a lot.
Can you tell us a little about the Parent's Network please?
I set the network up a few years ago, when I realised that I wanted and valued hearing from other parents, about their experiences. We have such an amazing community here, and I’m always struck by how generous colleagues are with their time, and kind words. The network is really about bringing parents together to support each other – whether that’s just hosting coffee catch ups and providing a safe space for people to talk about whatever’s bothering them or listening to speakers tell us about their experiences of being working parents. Being a working parent is hard at times and the network is there for support and encouragement.
If you would like to join the Parents' Network then please follow this link and request to join the Microsoft Teams page.
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