It is not widely known, but the last government launched another new quango before it mis-managed its own re-election. This was the Office for Strictures and Controll on Food and Fodder – OFSCOFF. As befits an era of austerity, Ofscoff's remit is to establish minimum food standards for animals and people, and make sure that these are not exceeded.
It most certainly would have approved of the anaemic red jelly that I came across in Warwickshire last week which was being passed off as strawberry jam, but not, I suspect, of the label of an almost equally sad example in Cumbria whose legend "extra fruity" would surely have promised far too much for an organisation hell bent on limiting expectations.
As I have been given access to some of Ofscoff's pre-launch thinking by a whistle-blower, expect more revelations over the next month.