We're now used to quite ordinary things being "smart" – smart phones, smart meters, smart cars, and smart goals, for example, and Coca-Cola Enterprises has now developed "smartwater" to add to the list.
This is not ordinary water, as might merely flow from a spring. Although it is spring water, its smartness comes from its first being not merely distilled but "vapour distilled" (as if there were any other means). This process, we are told with a straight face, is "inspired by clouds". Following this, "electrolytes" are added back in. These turn out to be calcium chloride, magnesium chloride and potassium bicarbonate, none of which is particularly smart as far as I can see. The result is a, of course, a smart taste, that is, one that is "clean and crisp". Crisp water, I thought, just what we need.
On a more positive note, the bottle (which itself is quite smart as it 30% made from plants) is quite good for putting your tap water in.