Celebrating a Grade D

Posted in: Comment, News and Updates

A nice bloke came from OVO the other day to survey the house for an Energy Performance Certificate [EPC].  As an event, it was as exciting as the Eurosong contest, and had a similar result.  We wondered as we prepared for the visit (eg finding proof of cavity wall insulation and solar panel fitting) whether we'd manage to scrape a C grade, but we doubted it.  Our doubts were confirmed when we were awarded soixante-six points.  This is a Grade D [55 to 68 points].  So nearly a C [69 to 74 points], but "nearly" doesn't win a coconut.

Our 9.5 kWHr battery, Eddi water heating system, and EV charging didn’t count for anything.  But if we’d had gas heating we would have scraped home.  In the looking glass world of the EPC, gas is always better than electricity because, it turns out, the rules have not been updated since 2012 and so don't reflect the government’s net zero ambitions.  The rules are now being upgraded and so we might get a better result next year – soixante-sept maybe.  We would, the assessor said, scrape a C (and save some cash) if we rip up all our solid floors and put underfloor insulation in.  The cost of this is £zillions; the payback time lengthy; the aggravated disturbance enormous.  It's not going to happen.  This useless information is given to everyone with a solid floor.  It has to do for advice before anything better turns up.  We were pleased only to pay a discounted £25 for this immiseration instead of the usual hefty price.
Thankfully, none of this matters much to us, as we are neither selling the house nor renting it out, but what a ridiculous situation to be in.  I can only presume that the set of civil servants cooking up EPC policy don't talk to those working on net zero policy or building regulations.  How nice it must be to live a compartmentalised life.  As Maisie once memorably asked of her low-graded coat hanger sculpture, does anyone out there want to share responsibility for the grade D?
You can find your neighbours' EPCs here.

Posted in: Comment, News and Updates

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